Character

So, this is going to be one of those posts. Sorry if you don't like these...and it's going to be long too.

So some of you may know, but I'm finishing up my Associate's degree at BYU-Idaho right now before my baby comes, and so I'm taking my last two classes right now. One of which is the final class for the "foundations" classes here (our program of generals...it's unique but amazing). Anyways, it's all about decision making and everyday we do these case studies that get us all to think and then we have a class discussion on why we'd choose what we'd choose in the different situations.

Today we had a case, but it was different than most. It was on the milgram experiment. For those of you who have never heard of this experiment it's an experiment where they have normal people come into a clinic thing, and they are to administer a punishment of an electric shock with each wrong answer. The voltage of the shock increases with each wrong answer, all the way up to 450 volts, which is way past lethal. They really aren't shocking the person they met earlier, but hear a CD recording around 215 volts of the "learner" screech and beg to be let out of the chair that they saw the "learner" get strapped into. The study is all about if the person will be obedient to authority over stopping the pain of the "learner". The results of the study (which has been done MANY times with all sorts of groups-ex: All men, all women, different ethnicities, etc) are always around 70% of the participants going all the way to the 450 voltage, because the "scientist" that is monitoring them tells them to keep on with the experiment even when they have heard the "learner" scream and then go silent and stop responding to the questions (which counts as wrong and gets a punishment) making them think the person is dead or at least unconscious. Only 30% of the participants will stop the experiment despite what the "scientist" says.  (I hope this made sense, but if not you can always look it up and read about it or youtube it).

It's a sick experiment, in my opinion, but poses an interesting question in everyone's mind of whether or not they would be one of the 30% or the 70%.

My teacher was sent to observe this case study being done in a class at Harvard with their business students when he was putting this class together. He said they came to the conclusion that "situation trumps character". My teacher talked about how this bothered him and other faculty who with him observing, and that he came to the new conclusion that "situation trumps WEAK character". For our homework this past weekend we were supposed to read a talk by Elder Bednar (which I highly recommend you read....HERE) where he discusses his findings on the character of Christ, upon hearing Elder Maxwell say in a talk that "There would have been no Atonement except for the character of Christ." It's a VERY interesting talk that has already changed my life and way of thinking. I guess I have just never really thought about what character truly is and how of course Christ showed us a perfect example of character.

ANYWAYS, why am I sharing this? Because the 70 minutes in class today has really caused me to think and so I want to share it, because I think it's fascinating and very inspiring.

This case lead to a discussion of how the 30% had strong character and that's why they were able to resist the reasons for being one of the 70%. (I really hope this isn't super confusing what I'm talking about...). We were talking about how to develop character, and the thing we focused on was how to take responsibility for your own actions, and not reason that it will be someone else's responsibility. This should be true in any situation, not just when "administering" lethal volts of electricity even when it seems it will be on the "scientist's" heads.

We were discussing how a key to taking responsibility for our own actions is that we make our own choices and that requires us to decide beforehand how we will respond in different situations. One kid gave the example of pornography. If you make a strong decision beforehand that you will turn from pornography, then the situation (when it comes) won't "trump" you. So THEN my teacher showed us this video about Ted Bundy. Watch it HERE. This doesn't have tons to do with character, but it does with what we were talking about with making a decision beforehand. This made me think too. 

Anyways, before we started into this whole thing, we watched this video on Rick and Dick Hoyt, who I'm sure many of you have heard of, but here is one of the many videos about them that we watched. The story, for those of you that don't know, is about a father (Dick) and his son (Rick). Rick is about 40 now, but he was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck which caused severe paralysis, but his mind is still active and well. Anyways, they got him a plate thing for by his head that he can use somehow by tapping it with his head to spell words on a computer screen and communicate to his parents. He told his dad around age 20 that he wanted them to run a triathlon or marathon, which his dad agreed to despite being way out of shape and his lifestyle. They did it and have now run hundreds of marathons together and done the Ironman and other triathlons. Anyways, I've seen a video about them before, but it makes me cry every time, it's SO touching. You can watch it (HERE!). This made me think about parents and how awesome they are, and how much character they have.

For example, yesterday at church, at the beginning of sacrament meeting, this deacon went up on the stage where the bishop asked him to do something. The deacon came to the back and started attempting to shut the curtains that were mostly shut, but needed to be shut all the way. Anyways, he was trying but was so little and so Trev went back to help him after the opening prayer. Trev  said the boy had them shut but someone on the other side was messing with them and kept causing it to come open again. Anyways, this little boy, after Trev and him got them closed finally, went up to sit with the other deacons to pass the sacrament, but I saw him wiping away tears. Trev and I love his family (we watch them during sacrament) and think he's adorable. My heart hurt watching him cry about it and we knew he was supposed to be the first youth speaker that day. I was watching him a bit later as he was passing sacrament and I could tell he had been crying and looked like he was still struggling. While he was waiting in the line after passing, to go back to the table up front, I saw his dad turn in their bench and mouth to him if he was okay. The little boy burst into uncontrollable tears. I felt SO bad for him. Anyways, he finished with the sacrament and went to his bench to talk to his dad and was bawling. The bishopric wasn't sure what to do, it was obvious, but they finally just announced the program without him in it. The dad and boy left the chapel and went outside. I saw them for the majority of the rest of sacrament meeting walking around the building outside talking. I was so impressed by this because even though Sacrament is very important, this dad took the time and went with his son and listened and comforted him. They came in later and sat down with their family and that was it.

It's situations like this that keep coming to my mind after learning about character. As I'm typing this I saw a dad come with his son in a wheelchair to circle the track on campus. There are so many good people out there who make me want to become something more than I am. This whole idea of character that Elder Bednar addressed is so interesting, and much larger than I ever imagined, but with examples all around us, including Christ's example, it makes me want to do my best to get there.

Anyways, these are my thoughts, and testimony I guess. This class has caused me to ponder and to really take a look at myself. My teacher for the last two minutes of class had us do something. Since we are going to be able to make good decisions when we remember Christ always, which requires us to have the Holy Ghost with us, he challenged us to have good media in our lives so that it can be with us always. He had us listen to him play a fancy rendition of a hymn and pull out a piece of paper to write something down of how to change/strengthen our character starting TODAY. He wanted to show us that the Spirit really will whisper to us if we will ask, be in a wholesome environment (with good music/media), and listen. So that's my challenge. I have found a pretty song you can listen to. So, why not try? But you have to be sincere. And with asking, you have to intend to ACT on what the Spirit whispers to you. I tried it and I know what I am to do and intend to do it. So grab a paper and pencil and take the minute or two it will take and then act. :) Here is the song..."Redeemer" by: Paul Cardall.

Sorry this was so long, but I hope you got something out of this experience as well. :)